The Hand You're Dealt

One of the "temple rules" here at the Zen center reads, "Do not concern yourself with the actions of others."  This seems simple enough, however it's opposite lies at the root of nearly any human behavior I can think of.  Things like jealousy, protesting for a cause, contributing to a cause, keeping up with the Jones', celebrating another person's success or good merits, contractual agreements, enforcing basic laws and mores, the list goes on.  I understand the intention behind this rule is specifically about when another is not meeting practice requirements or is breaking the rules.  If a resident is slacking in one's practice, neglecting their chores, or generally behaving badly, we are not to have concern, or judgement, but should simply go about our own practice and work mindfully.  This is leading by example, or turning the other cheek, if you will and it's a noble idea. 

Honestly, I am challenged by the notion.  I was raised in a punishment paradigm of parenting and family dynamics.  I often wonder how different my life would be if more often natural consequences would have been the motivation for appropriate action or if the lessons were by example rather than by desire to avoid punishment.  So while ruminating on the effect of such a "rule", I must recognize my tendency for impatience when others are not "doing what they are supposed to"!  I have vowed to show patience and unconditional acceptance for all beings and situations.  I have broken this vow, and likely will again in this lifetime. (Disclaimer?  Sure.  Why not?)  True, at Zen center (and in life) without strong spiritual practice we are made more subject to suffering.  However, this tendency is universal and is so utterly baseline that not only does it go unnoticed by most, but there's an endless supply of stimuli and anesthetics to mute the reality of it.  Also, at Zen center (and in life) when one doesn't do their work, others have to pick up the slack.  The wisdom teachings suggest that appropriate action is to do one's duty, in an accepting and devoted manner, without regard to the outcome.  This means working with those who are in the grip of suffering and picking up where they leave off with peaceful mind and whole-hearted acceptance with what is, no matter how unfair it seems.  Really?  I want to be open, understanding and accepting, but not so open that my brain falls out!  Is this unconditional acceptance enlightened behavior?  An appropriate response?  Are we helping the persons who might otherwise do differently with some sort of intervention or redirection?  How much extra work does one do for those who can pull their share yet are not?  If there is knowledge of wrong-doing, for how long does one not disclose truth?  If some are being taken advantage of, does one not expose the predator for justice? 

In the Vajrayana tradition there are four levels of involvement to help ease some one's suffering.  The simplest level is to offer comfort, a smile, a hug, some advice, or perhaps some motivational or re-directional words, to offer love in some form.  Second is to offer something material such as food, money, a place to stay, etc.  Third is to intervene where there is conflict.  This is typically likened to stepping between a bully and his victim; I would suggest extrapolating that to stepping in to save some one from their own mind.  The fourth and ultimate stage of intervening in this tradition is to actually do harm to save another or others from further harm; killing an attacker or removing a tyrant from abusive power.  This four leveled approach seems to marry both a passive nurturing and active intervening model.  It's a very middle of the road approach, where the road is rather wide and the range of options is vast...like life.  Our work as practitioners and humans co-existing together on an ever shrinking planet, hopefully with a moral compass based in some sound philosophy of self-acceptance harmonized with not only the desire for evolution but the need for it, is to decide when and what appropriate action needs to be taken. 

The hand we are dealt is simply our karma.  It's what, when and where we are at any given time.  Look around... What are you immersed in?  Who are you interacting with?  How are you dealing with it?   This is the hand you're dealt, and the wisdom teachings say that we cannot get the wrong amount or kind of karma.  It was a Zen teacher who said that enlightenment is an appropriate response.  Enlightenment = Appropriate Response.  Most of our responses to stimuli are habitual; programed in for 20, 30, 40+ years.  THIS is why we might lead by example, or turn the other cheek...to be sure our response is an appropriate one and not just the product of garbage in, garbage out.  Being with some discomfort, not following our habitual or typical response, can give great insight to the root of our desired response.  Dust of mind and mind habits settle.  Clarity arises around the reality of the situation. THEN we can know if or at what level to act and in what manner.  Om on.